Our 9 month LID anniversary was 6/5. It came and went unnoticed as went about living our lives. We should be about 7 months away from our referral. However, reality is that we may be 15 months or more away from our referral due to current wait times. I know, as you read this your wondering why? What has happened to cause this dramatic increase in the wait time? Can it be fixed? Honestly, we just don’t know all the reasons why or if it will be fixed. I do know in the blink of an eye it is already half way through June, where have the last 5 months gone? For us the time has flown by because we were looking for a new house, selling our old house or moving into our new house. We have dealt with death, sickness and thankfully healing of family and friends. We just spent our first weekend hosting out of town friends in our new house!
Yet, even as we keep busy our adoption is not far from our thoughts. Yes, the wait it difficult. Yes, it can be depressing. No, I cannot let it consume my life. Many of my “adoption friends” are asked the same questions. How do we cope? We cope by talking to each other, family, and friends. Occasionally, we have a good pity party. For most of us “moms to be” we are emotionally connected to a child we do not know and have yet to see. But in our hearts this connection, thread if you will, binds us to this child regardless of time and space. We are emotionally connected to this distant child. Odd as it may sound to some, that connection cannot be broken. We wonder, worry and love this unknown child. We ache to hold it and smell that fresh baby smell, see her laugh, and protect her from the world. Then there is the dreaded wait. It crashes upon us at the oddest times. It can sap our energy, our ability to function. It can, if we let it, consume every waking moment. The “wait” has become our faceless enemy – time slipping away, feeling like it has been lost.
I think our husbands, at least most of them, have this waiting thing down. They know what we want, they know the wait is long and yet they have the ability to carry on. They go about their business as if nothing has changed. I know for my husband it so far away it’s not on his “radar” right now. This does not mean he doesn’t have his “moments” or is not connected to this process but for the most part he carries on with the business of living life. For him, the wait is different. I need to learn from him. I need to live in the now. Yes, the bad days will come and go. Yes, this child will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. No, I cannot allow myself to let the next months pass me by without taking advantage of all this time has to offer. Every day is a reason to celebrate the good things, mourn the losses, and build relationships. In short to live the life that is unfolding before my eyes! In the future, regardless of how near or far, the quality and amount of time we spend with others will change. So let’s live it, let’s cherish the time with each other, our families, our friends. In short, let’s get about the business of living!
Happy 9 months LID anniversary! We are on our way, I’m not sure exactly to where, but we’re definitely on our way ;o)
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2 comments:
Happy nine months, you two! For me, this wait is something I've needed to put on the back burner. For my own sanity and the sake of my poor emotions! :-) Every now and then I "reconnect" with it, as you put it, and I remember that it WILL happen to me too, but I try not to dwell on it too much.
Kelly-
Your comments are so well written. This is truly a journey. If one only focused on the end, so much would be lost along the way. It is OK to stop sometimes and feel sad about the wait, but it could consume you if you let it.
Hoping that the wait won't be as long as we are imagining.
Happy 9 months!
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