A Little Rant and Retail Therapy...

I’ve been trying to decide if I should write this post for the last few weeks. What finally prompted me to do it is that many of you reading this are in the same boat as I am. The wait to bring your daughter home occasionally wears you down. It unexpectedly, or not so unexpectedly, slams into you with the force of a fist slamming into your chest. So if you don’t want to read my little rant you can stop here.

Lately, I’ve been having a difficult time dealing with the wait and all it entails. I'm weary. Weary of waiting, weary of wondering, and weary of this little ache that seems like it just won't go away. How do you answer the question “What’s going on with China? Why is it taking so long?” How do I answer that question when I don’t know have the answer? I don't know how to explain it. I know everyone who is asking does so because they genuinely care. Most, if not all, of them are waiting for her to come home too. This year preparing for Mothers day made me so sad and I haven’t been able to shake it. Despite my best efforts not to go "there." This is the 5th mothers day that has come and gone since we decided to expand our family. I have that small sad feeling. The one that brings tears to your eyes that you can’t actually let fall. Then doubt and frustration get their nasty little hooks into me and won't let go. I have that "why not me attitude" and it's hard to shake. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way because I know I should be living life to the fullest. But at the same time I feel like I can’t because our family isn't complete yet. I know that I have been blessed beyond measure with the family, friends, and life I already have. It's a double-edged sword isn't it? Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t given up hope I’ve just hit a roadblock. I feel like one of those little toy cars that just keeps running into the wall. Anyway, sorry for the rant but if you've read this far thanks for letting me vent.

Now for the retail therapy part... I’m not much of a shopper but while I was out shopping for Mothers day I found some things I couldn't resist. Macy's was having a great sale. Check out these little dresses I picked up for our little one to be. My friend Jeni also contributed with the little bathing suit. Thanks Jeni, love ya!

ps. Jami, since I sent you the same dress (right side) for our spring bling swap maybe one day we can exchange pictures of the girls in their little dresses?!?!