Bah Humbug...

I’ve been feeling this little rant come on for a few days so I figured I’d go ahead and get it over with. Once it is out the way I can go back to enjoying this Christmas season. For those of you poor souls reading this now is your chance to bail…

As I’ve been out holiday shopping the last week or so it’s really hit me what I, and others, will be missing yet again this year. Don’t get me wrong, I really do love the Christmas season. I truly enjoy time spent with family and friends, and dare I say it shopping (I’m not a shopper except at this time of year). I love the decorations, Christmas songs, holiday movies, and seeing the look on a loved ones face when they open a gift that they truly appreciate. But as I shop for my nephews, nieces and friends kids it hits me again that I’m still waiting. Waiting for the time when our dream of being parents comes true. I want to go shopping for OUR little girl. I want to brave the lines and take her to sit on Santa’s lap. I want to decorate our house just for her. I want to drive around and let her look at the neighborhood Christmas lights. I want to see her little face as she sees the wonders of the season for the first time!

When we began this process we thought we’d at least be seeing her face before the end of the year meaning about now. But as you know the wait is going on and on and on… kind of like the energizer bunny! Something makes me want to kick that pink bunny in the arse! I do realize that this is a childish notion but still think it would make me feel better even if for a brief moment. I could go on forever about what the reasons for the lengthening wait are but truthfully what I know is supposition even if it is based on truth. Whatever the reasons behind the wait the bottom line is the wait, the seemingly never-ending wait that has become the albatross around my neck. It frustrates me, it saddens me, it depresses me, it plain old pisses me off! I don’t want to think about another Christmas season passing us by without having our kid home. I don’t want to celebrate yet another birthday signifying the passing of time. I DON”T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE!!!! (Note the key word here is want. I don’t want to do these things but I will. It’s the price of bringing my daughter home.)

So from whiny adoptive parent to another, how do you deal with it? What helps you get through the rough patches? I’ll tell you what I’m going to do… I’m going to go home turn on all my Christmas lights and write a letter to Santa… oh, and have a really large glass of wine!